Practical Nudity

by Omatic Design

I HAD BEER with some friends the other day. The couple with us had taken a little weekend jaunt to San Francisco and landed in The Castro, where the weather is fine, so are the lads and things are all-a-hangin’ out in the sweet breeze. After passing three north-to-south nudified denizens strolling around wearing only flip flops, the she-side of said couple had something to say about that. 

“How does this work? Where are their keys? Where are their fucking wallets?

That’s us Northwesterners for you. ‘Round these parts, you can feel free to wag your orangutang wang with no judgment, but you’d better be practical about it.

And, really, it was a mystery. How do you get it on with public exhibitionism and get back into your apartment or buy bananas? In a meaningful little bit of online serendipity, I came across these flip flops.

Flip floppin'.

Mystery solved: “ArchPort Flip Flops with Hidden Storage. Never worry about lost keys, cash, or credit cards when you don’t have any pockets! The YogiStash contains compartments in the soles, suitable for carrying credit cards, identification, cash, keys or other items. Originally designed for trips to yoga so that you don’t need to carry a wallet or purse, and perfect for anytime you want your hands free on cruises, poolside or walking the boardwalk!”

Her concerns have been allayed but now replaced by worries that sunscreen isn’t being used.