by Omatic Design

HAVING A FATHER who has made it through colon cancer, I will not deny that a colonoscopy can save a life (You rule, pop). I fully embrace and promote this important but not wildly popular check-up. I am however finding it particularly odd the current bevy of advertising from hospital chains that promotes what I am led to believe is the most embarrassing and invasive of procedures.

“HELLO, COLON,” greets the newest colorful out-of-home and on-the-highway campaign in a too familiar tone as if they wish to be buddy-buddy with my innards. I’m certain the copywriter giggled with glee to have sold such a preponderance of vowels and ‘L’s.

“GET OVER IT,” demands one terse campaign. “GO FUCK YOURSELF,” thinks one offended viewer, responding to snide contempt.

These are standard advertising manifestations in response to subjects that are considered awfully personal-like and discomfiting to a broad target audience. The obvious intent is to break through that “ooky” barrier and either pummel the viewer or disarm with (supposed) casual humor. Because, really, we can only become aware of the most important issues of the day when they’re cloaked in clever adspeak.

Who funds these lame campaigns? The for-profit hospitals? A well intentioned government grant? Your colon? Considering the state of the country’s health system and the amount of money spent on marketing, this comes across as opportunistic and highly suspect horse flop. It’s also an obvious marketing trend. Pick your disease/condition/issue and hop on the bandwagon.

Coming to your local billboard soon: “COUNT YOUR TOES.” You might be missing one, dummy.